As a millennial, I heard from my mother and other older women how way back (from the 1940s to the 70s), some men abandoned their families, or when they died the widows were clueless on what to do. Back then men were the main breadwinners, while women stayed home. Even if the women had a job, it was part-time because they had to get back home to take care of their youngin’.
With time and many protests, the women of these 2010s are now career driven and monetarily motivated. No longer are they dependent on having to marry up. All they got to do is get a degree or start a business. Men are still out here making moves, but our complimentary partners (women) are doing it big too.
SEAT AT THE TABLE
This forward progress brings into play men asking should they continue being traditional on dates (i.e. a man paying the check at dinner), and if they should be chivalrous since some of these women claim to not want such treatment. These types of situations mentioned have occurred a lot lately. But with most sensible folks, one of the first things they seek in a potential partner is their ability to bring something to the table.
In today’s world, a two income home is needed in order to raise a family. Granted, there are situations where a person is a single parent whose working, and exceptions to the rule where a woman married a rich and/or wealthy man. Nonetheless, outside of the so-called 1%, men and women work thus having 2 people bringing money, assets and other tangible funds into their union. No man doesn’t want to take care of a lazy ass woman, and I’m sure no woman is thrilled about taking care of a grown ass man.
This is a major reason why I’m choosing not to date seriously as of now. I’ve been finding my way through this literary, copy writing and consulting game for about 14 months now (SHAMELESS PLUG, CLICK HERE), and until I start making a certain amount consistently, I won’t begin getting to know anyone on a more long term basis. I want to have myself 100% right, for when I meet a woman who is 100%, we can put forth 200% effort when we get together.
CASUALTIES & COLLATERAL DAMAGE
In any war there are losses. Though women are progressing, some feel if a man isn’t making more than they are, they can’t respect him. The guy could be making $60,000 a year, if she’s making $100,000 then he can’t even have a simple coffee or lunch date with her. There are some circumstances where money plays such a huge part, that it can server a whole marriage.
This one episode of a news magazine show someone posted on YouTube I saw a while back, did a story about how a wife lost respect for her husband, after he was downsized from his job at an accounting firm in 2009.
The guy was pulling in close to 90 grand as an accountant at the firm, while she was making about the same in her career field. During the months after losing his job, he was doing freelance work, making about 20 – 25 thousand per year, while searching for another firm to work at. Not only was he still making some kind of effort to bring in funds, he also played Mr. Mom and took more care of their son.
Even though the man was doing what many women would kill to have a man do for them, because he wasn’t clocking dough in the near six-figure range, the wife fell out of love. She was distant, and claimed that she wasn’t sexually attracted to him anymore. She was acting so cold toward him, I felt the frost from her shoulder through the monitor.
The getting of money and still wanting for greater has really warped some women’s idea of the ideal man. That same guy in that report was a good father, college educated, and still was able to contribute something. But because he didn’t meet her standards, she cut him off. These kind of women act as if guys who are making $100,000 or better are just sprouting like leaves on trees — acting as if she couldn’t have his back when he was down. Then they wonder why they’re single in their late 30s, or divorced in their 40s, trying to figure out what did they do wrong? No man wants to be with, or come home to a woman like that!
Plus, even if a woman like this did find a guy who was a millionaire, who says he’d take care of her and treat her right like a guy making $30,000 per year would?
THE HEAD WOMAN IN CHARGE
Another thing some of these paper chasing women need to do is know when to fall back. Many of today’s modern women can’t seem to understand that most men want to lead. There are some couples where the woman wears the proverbial pants of their union, and they’re both content with this dynamic. But for the most part, men are out to be the head of their union.
Modern women are use to being masters of their own universes. So when a stand-up guy comes along, a lot of them don’t know how not to be boss lady, especially when with a headstrong male. These ladies feel because they’re in control of their job environment, and give final word on major decisions in their life, when a good guy comes along asserting himself into the lead role, she’ll begin to fight back.
You also can’t forget those women who are workaholics — the kinds of women putting career first, child second (if he has one with her), and her man last. To many women, trying to juggle family, career, and intimacy is damn near impossible — something has to fall to the way side. So yeah, if she’s making mad money at her job, it may be worse than you think. That’s why with women I shall date, I won’t put heavy emphasis on how much money they make. Long as she’s doing something productive, and helps me with my grind then I’m a happy camper.
Miss Independent, if he’s a great guy whose bringing something to the table, and can be a candidate for father of the year then learn to fall back, and trust in your man. Learn that being cooperative and allowing a worthy man to step up, will be the best decision you could ever make for your relationship. But as I always stress ladies, only if he’s proven himself capable, and willing to accept your input as a partner.
Men and women must come together in this new millennium, making money in order to live close to, or actually achieving a middle class or upper middle class lifestyle. Yes, we have more acceptance of single parenthood (mainly for women), but still those in a relationship or who want a relationship must find a way to make things work.
Both men and women must be self-sufficient in today’s world, in order for them to build a life together. Make sure as a man, you don’t put too much emphasis on her bringing a lot of money to the table. And as a woman, do not consider money the most important factor when choosing a man.
The battle of the sexes is stupid to me, because men and women are here to compliment each other. As time goes by, I hope the world realizes this so we can grow on a global scale. Until then, let’s keep progressing by not letting money cloud our better judgement.
– Nicholas Brown, co-author of So You Want To Be A Stripper? The Comprehensive Guide To Go From Girl-Next-Door To Pole Dancing Diva