“I NEED SOME ME TIME!!!!” The Amazing Benefits of Holistic Rest

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Focusing your intentions on others can be a dicey game, while allowing the energy of others to merge with your own for sake of a common goal or elevating experience can be essential to human development. How much is too much? and is that amount of energy different for each person?

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It is common more often than not to be encouraged by others to become more social. People who are “Anti social” are often looked at as crazy or flawed in some way. I believe that description is a blanket term used to describe what seems to be the stirring question no-one wants to answer; What do I do when I’m alone?

Bored Young Woman Stirring Coffee --- Image by © Vincent Mo/zefa/Corbis

See many fear being alone because it can stir up latent emotions and bring them to the surface while others absolutely need it as an essential part of their re-calibration process. So the question becomes when and how much time do I need for myself and how do I know when I need to take that time?
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As, an empath when I need to take alone time it becomes apparent extremely quickly as I begin to become overly sensitive to other peoples emotions in a valitole and negative way. My body even begins to hold on to these emotions and they manifest as symptoms like headaches, pains, or even other more serious ailments. How do I know when the root of my illness is emotional? When I’ve taken all the proper physical precautions of diet, exercises, hydration, and rest and I am still in pain or uncomfortable this denotes an energetic issue.
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That’s how I know its time for some “ME TIME.” Me time is how I re-calibrate my senses, much like a machine the body and mind often need time to power down and come into sleep or off mode if you will. What happens to a computer that is used often and never powered off? Even the best technology will still eventually falter if it doesn’t get rest. Your body and mind are the same. Even if you are getting enough sleep, that is not enough you need holistic rest. I briefly discussed this in my previous blog “7 surprising things I learned while on my 7 day liquid cleanse” link : (https://ataensicmedia.wordpress.com/…) I can not stress enough the importance of holistic rest, holistic is a term meaning that of which encompasses the whole self mind, body, spirit, and even soul and all of the various aspects in which these things manifest. More often than not our rest is 1 dimensional only comprising 1 aspect of self.
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When we begin to recharge our whole selves we can then regenerate any correlating aspects that may have began to become damaged or are damaged in the process. The length of time that holistic rest must last will differ from person to person but ultimately it will all come down to creating a sense of peaceful awareness with-in.
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Holistic rest may not be considered rest at all it may be activities that allow us to clear our mind, the rest simply being from our monotonous realities. Activities like running, swimming, hiking, yoga, and of course meditation can help us to clear our mind of cluttering thoughts, while elevating the necessary restorative hormones in our body to create an over all sense of release, peace, and balance. Even hobbies like writing, photography, and painting can have similar effects on the body and mind. With all this in mind it is extremely imperative that we not only take time to rest our bodies but to rest holistically, so that we can maintain an over all state of homeostasis; assisting us in creating happier, healthier, and less stressful lives.

Happy Woman in Meadow --- Image by © Patrik Giardino/Corbis

So the next time your feeling out of sorts, ask yourself, “Have I taken the proper amount of rest time for myself? and when is the last time I did?” The answer may shock you but no worries employ the technique of holistic rest for at-least 20 mins 3-4x a week and watch your agitation dissipate into contentment. I hope this information empowers you to cultivate the most important relationship you could ever establish in life, the one with yourself. Don’t forget to stay connected via our many social media platforms!
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Health is Wealth

Peace & Love Family! Welcome to Love Oneness Blog! Please allow us the opportunity to reintroduce ourselves. My name is Miyat, born Monica K.C. Bentley. My Twin Flame, best friend, and husband, is Sirius, born Antwan E. Ford. We invite you to come along on our journey toward holistic health that just so happens to be a love story. We are rebranding ourselves to offer solutions of healing for the body, mind and spirit.

 
My husband, Sirius, has been on his journey for over 15 years. His journey really began with the shocking diagnosis of a life threatening disease. He was initially given only 18 months to live. And after going through the torture of orthodox medicine, he decided to completely change his lifestyle and try natural and alternative remedies to restore his health. (YouTube video about his amazing testimony to health coming soon). I already was exploring natural health options. But, after his declaration, I decided to obtain my Bachelor’s Degree in Alternative Medicine. Throughout the past 7 years, we have become masters in healing ourselves. We are having an internal love affair. Our family is the byproduct of the holistic healing we are giving to ourselves.

Health is wealth. Health is the most valuable gift a person has. It is not money, material possessions, or your relationships. Your health is the one component in your life that will define your potential to succeed in all other facets of your life. Health is the one thing that is most taken for granted, especially in our society. Our total destruction or resurrection depends on how we respect our bodies, and nature. We must become aware of the poisons and toxins we put into our bodies, and the effects they have on us. “Poison is substances causing illness or death when eaten, drunk, or absorbed even in relatively small quantities”, according to Queen Afua, in her book Heal ThySelf for Health and Longevity. When we heal,we must be prepared to heal physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We must heal completely.

 
Let me start by taking a realistic look at the state of health in the United States. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), the United States ranks 37th in the world in regard to Health. Many people may not see this as alarming. However, the average medicine (drug) developed by major pharmaceutical companies cost anywhere between a minimum of about $4 billion and as high as about $11 trillion.Big Pharma is big business. These statistics alone begs to question, if pharmaceutical companies can spend that much money on the average drug, then why does the U.S rank in 37th in health? Are people really being cured? Are Big Pharma companies really searching for a cure? It’s time to consider what it means to be treated for a disease.

According to Medical News Today, nearly 75% of all deaths are attributed to just 10 causes, with the top 3 of these accounting for over 50% of all deaths. We are just going to discuss the first 3 causes of death and some common diseases!

  1. Heart Disease describes several conditions, which relate to plaque (mucus) buildup in the walls of the arteries. As plaque builds, 5he arteries narrow making it difficult for blood to flow. Heart disease kills 1 out of 4 people. It is the leading cause of death affecting more men than women. Coronary Heart Disease costs $108.9 billion each year.
  2. Cancer is defined by uncontrolled growth and the spread of abnormal cells. Cancer affects people of all genders, ages and ethnicities. Anyone can develop cancer. The chances of developing cancer increases with age, exposures to carcinogens (chemicals & toxins) and genetics. The National Institute of Health (NIH) estimate over $200billion spent in 2009 alone. Interestingly, the World Cancer Research Fund estimates one-third of cancer cases… are related to being overweight, obese, inactive (sedentary) or having poor nutrition. AND GUESS WHAT?! About 40% of the US population is obese. $147 billion are the medical costs associated with obesity. When is the last time you had a discussion with your doctor about nutrition? Never mind, working in harmony to construct a plan to adjust your eating habits and lifestyle.
  3. Chronic Lower Respiratory Disease is the collection of lung disease that causes airflow blockage and breathing issues including Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD). It is estimated medical costs will rise from $32.1 billion in 2010 to $49 billion in 2020. Smoking is the primary factor, although exposure to air pollutants play an significant role as well.

High Blood Pressure affects one third of Americans. Some of the risk factors that cause high blood pressure is being overweight, or obese, not exercising enough, excessive amount of salt intake, poor eating habits, and stress. Luckily, these factors are ones you may control. Blood pressure is a major factor related to stroke.

Diabetes ranks the 7th leading cause of disease. 29.1 million Americans have diabetes. Diabetes can be genetic. However, most cases can be controlled or prevented with proper nutrition.

 
Some of the foods to be aware of that can cause disease are meats, sugar, salts, fried foods, fast foods, starches, and dairy. The purpose of meats are to provide protein. But meats also cause infections, constipation, headaches, cancer, and premature aging. Instead of eating meat, some substitutes are beans, peas, tofu, TVP, lentils, nuts seeds and sprouts. Sugar, in the form of corn syrup, corn sugar, white sugar, or brown sugar, can cause hyperactivity, stress, bone deterioration, poor memory, loss of hair, and bladder cancer. The best source of natural sweets come from fruits. Salt is an inorganic mineral that cannot be absorbed by cells. It can irate the bloodstream and stomach and blocks digestion. It also causes high blood pressure, kidney and liver disease. Kale, celery, carrots, lettuce provide natural sodium. Or as an alternative use Himalayan salt or Sea Salt. Fried Foods clog arteries. Symptoms of fried foods can manifest as cold hands and feet, sluggishness, heart palpitations, headaches, swollen ankles and hands, and high blood pressure. Flushing your system with lemon water can cleanse your system of plaque and mucus. Starches, such as white bread, white rice, and macaroni are difficult to digest. They clog the colon causing constipation. A clogged colon is responsible for 90% of our diseases, according to Dr. Robert Wood, quoted in Heal Thyself… Eat whole grains such as tabouli, bulgar wheat, couscous,etc. and only before sunset. Otherwise, you can wake up feeling fatigued, anxious, and depressed. We consume dairy to provide calcium for growth and strength of our bones. However, dairy causes allergies, asthma, hay fever, vaginal discharge, fibroids, and boils. Alternatives to dairy are almond milk, green vegetables such as kale, broccoli, spinach and wheatgrass, and herbs, like spirulina, dandelion and alfalfa, which are high in calcium.

 
Knowing most diseases can be prevented by choosing to eat nutritious, vitamin and mineral rich foods can be the difference between life and death. It’s time to take your health seriously. It’s your responsibility. Let your food be your medicine!

 

 

 

References

Queen Afua. Heal ThySelf  for Health and Longevity. A&B Publishers Group. 2002

Www.medicalnewstoday.com

Www.nlm.nih.gov

http://www.who.int

Miyat and Sirius journey into health started when Sirius was diagnosed with a life threatening disease. Miyat obtained her Bachelor’s of Science in Alternative Medicine and now is a Holistic Health Specialist, Certified Reiki Master, Holistic Doula, and Blogger. Sirius is a Life Coach, specializing in nutrition, meditation, and relationship counseling. Be on the look out for website coming soon!

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Face your demons — Leave us out of it

Some people have their version of insanity going in their lives. They’re either constantly complaining about jobs, no good significant others who maybe cheating or beating on them, and/or substances they’re addicted to.

I’m not a bad guy so I’ll lend a ear, give some advice, drop you off to rehab, or call the cops if its that serious. But after that one time, if I see you’re stuck on repeat, I’ll just leave you alone. I got no time for masochistic gluttons for punishment — I got a world to face and money to make!

argue “Not today, don’t kill me with it”

A guy who I know on Facebook calls these people “askholes,” because they ask about the same problem again and again, without change. If I see that you’re continuing the same sob story, I’ll quit picking up your phone calls. If we’re face to face, I’ll tell you that you’re tripping and to try what I suggested already, or don’t tell me about. I may get viewed the a**hole, but f**k it I’ll be that.

If you’re getting good advice, or similar advice about a particular problem then put it into practice. Don’t keep dragging us down with a problem you seem to enjoy having in your life. So drama queen or emotional a** man: Not today, don’t kill me with it.

Written by Nicholas A. Brown, author, editor, and ghostwriter

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7 Surprising Things I Learned During my 7 Day Liquid Cleanse

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Over the past few years Ive  gone through a number of health issues that led to me striving to repair my body from the inside out. Through suggestion of my health coach I decided to embark on a 7 day liquid cleanse, including; green juices, herbal teas & infusions, as well as other herbal & natural liquid supplements. What I learned was surprising to say the least, it seemed like my body co-operated more than anticipated and I didn’t crave solid food until the very end of my fast. What I found to be my bigger challenges were emotional and mental well being. It’s very common to experience a plethora of emotions while your body cleanses, but this time more than any other I flowed with my emotions and allowed them to unveil to me hidden aspects of myself that contributed to my over all dis-eased state.

1.The Power of Positive Thinking:

Positive Thinking Affirmations

Many understand positive thinking as a cliche concept. “Oh, if I think good thoughts good things will happen.” Even though the simple aspect of this concept is true there is a bit more to it that makes it solidified as a manifested reality. You must more than think positively, you must replace the negative program of thinking that is currently running in your mind, and become proactive about creating a positive thinking pattern that can help to affirm your well being, your health, your wealth, and happiness.

Throughout the process of cleansing not only do residual toxins in the body come to the surface but, residual toxic emotions, like fear, abandonment, rejection and hurt also surface; with your body in such a vulnerable state it can be harder to fend off the overwhelming emotions that come with that release. The key is to remain positive in the midst of it all, and don’t fight but embrace the “negative” emotions while asking what they may be trying to teach you and how you can let them go!

2. The Value of Rest:

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(Photo Credit: Woman Sleeping in Bed — Image by © John-Francis Bourke/Corbis)

Now most of us are so programmed toward doing, doing, doing, we must do for family, do for work, do for others, but during a cleanse your focus should be on doing for self. It’s not selfish it’s self-love, which is the root of all other forms of love. How can you continue to give when your cup is empty? You can’t so you must take the proper time to refill the cup. Rest doesn’t always mean sleep, although you should maintain  at least 8 hours of sleep per night. Rest can also  just be simply taking a break from your normal programming. Go outside into nature, rediscover your inner child and sense of wonder. Stop engaging in energy draining activities, talking about drama or gossip with people on the phone, social media, or through other forms of communication. Remove yourself as much as you can from people who may be draining you, and of course make sure you are getting as much rest as you need for your body to fully heal.

Cleansing in and of itself can take a lot of energy, so remember to treat your body with care and gentleness and to save your energy for things that will enrich your experience with restorative practices like yoga, meditation, qi gong, hydration, pampering baths, and learning about how to heal and maintain yourself holistically.

3. When to Focus Inward:

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Stop looking outside of yourself for love, validation, and respect, This all starts with-in. Once you have cultivated that practice of self healing you will naturally attract those same characteristics from others. Focus on who you are emotionally and where those voids start. Do they come from past pain or lost? When did you first start to feel this way? If you are cleansing to help rectify a particular health concern, what emotions are contributing to your dis-ease and how can you begin to change that?

4. The Value of Help:

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Now of course you will need to help yourself before others can truly assist you in your healing journey but learn to be grateful for all the help your receive, it may even come from places you least expect. Sometimes all we need to do is show the universe that we are willing to love ourselves before we can begin to reap the benefits of others love. Maybe it was there waiting all along but the effects of your negative thinking cycle had you blind to seeing the amazing help that was there for you the whole time, or maybe you had to cultivate a mind that could attract these things into your world. Whatever the cause remember that when it comes, be grateful!

5. The Power of Forgiveness:

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Now this was a powerful emotional release for me. I’m a very self aware person who often takes emotional inventory and ponders what are the causes for my states of emotional well-being. Anytime is a great time to begin this process, but especially after going through extremely stressful situations like a hard break-up, bout of illness, watching another family member become ill or pass away. These are times that can test your ability to remain positive and can change the way that you look at the world, but it doesn’t have to be for the worst. These are what we call transition periods, when something old must fall away to reveal a new process, life, or change. Every old ending is just a new beginning. Although it may not feel that way at first, a time of cleansing allows us to understand this as truth. A key part of ushering in the new energy that can come in after a transition is to forgive the pain of letting a passing energy go, although it may have been stressful and often during these times extreme sadness and resentment can crop up from the past that you may not even know you had or had forgotten exist it. During this time it is best to forgive those involved in creating that pain including yourself and allow it to fall away. It won’t happen instantaneously but it will begin a new way of being that will set the stage for a positive change to come into full being in your life.

6. Setting Boundaries

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Although openness can help you and others heal, so can setting boundaries. We all have limitations to what we can and can not deal with and these limitations change as time goes on. During a cleansing process it is important to be very honest with yourself and others about what your limitations are and why they are an important part of self-respect and self-healing.  You will find that those who truly love you are more than happy to oblige and those who can not may not be fully conducive to your healing process. In anycase you must be strong enough to set these boundaries and strong enough to follow through with them on your own.

7. Letting It Go

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The most important and helpful thing I learned throughout this experience was to let thought processes, perceptions, and realities that no longer served me go, because I understand that we are in a state of great change in this universe I am open to knowing that the me I am right now and the me I am meant to become may not hold the same ideals and ways of thinking. Like everything in the universe I must too change and that this change doesn’t have to be a struggle or traumatizing, but this change can be beautiful if I allow it to be. Everything may not turn out the way you envisioned but if you embrace change knowing that it doesn’t dismiss the truth of your inner being, you can understand what it truly means to be free. Sustain, transform, and evolve and through it all never be afraid to let, what is no longer meant for you, go.

The Boss is Never Ugly

While growing up on the Black sides of Miami, one of the things I learned quickly: Men with money who made moves and had clout got respect from everyone. All of the men my mother dated were guys with something going for themselves. Some had a illegal businesses, but I knew these dudes weren’t scrubs and they were cool people.

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Shaka Zulu movie box set

BE HEARD WITHOUT GETTING LOUD

It was always the guy with smarts, who knew what they wanted and how to get it who were the center of attention. I never seen these guys make threats, they only gave warnings if fools got out of pocket. And if they did show anger, it was a momentary spurt that was needed to regain the upper hand in a tense situation.

They usually remained quiet, and if they spoke it was a short and well thought out response. They are the Joe Cool’s of the world. They are the CEOs who know that actions are man’s greatest orator. They are the rulers of the day, or the sovereigns of the night.

For example, have you ever seen any President of the U.S.A get on television, radio, or in newspapers go on a loud and angry tirade? Have you ever seen any British Prime Minister go off like an NFL coach who’s sick of losing close games? People with real power need not worry, so play it cool as you go for yours.

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Fidel Castro & Malcolm X

LADIES LOVE BIG BOSS

Gentleman, please understand this: power is the greatest aphrodisiac known to man. It can have the biggest diva force herself to be self-conscious when around a powerful man.

Yeah its cool to work out and eat right, and its fine to have read an entire library including encyclopedias; but what gets a woman going is knowing her man is in control, and all important things shall get handled or heads will roll.

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Omari Hardwick portraits “Ghost” on the show POWER

Deep down on a primal instinct level, a man with power is seen as a provider. Some guys may look like hell, but if he has clout and confidence, his chances of having women around is high. It’s almost as if that man can have sex with whomever and whenever he chooses.

MONEY, POWER, AND THE RESPECT THAT FOLLOWS 

One of my favorite songs from back in the day was from DJ Quick called Hand in Hand. Its a track I still play from time to time when I’m getting suited and booted to go out. The message I like most about this track, is that a man must get his life and money right before he thinks about stepping to the kind of women that he wants.

Good Brotha

Lamman Rucker

I’m going to close this out with a section from the book Dragonflies in the Swamp that may enlighten you. I hope this helps, and I’ll see you at the top.

“As a man remember, always focus on being successful in your field. As one guy told me, ‘being a rich man is like being a beautiful woman.’ A dude could look like Quasimodo, if he’s rich or wealthy, even chicks who’ve won beauty pageants will chase him. I used to think this was semi-gold digging, if not all out gold digging. Until I came up with a theory that helped me gain perspective.

My Gold Digger Theory:

Thousands of years ago, us men hunted animals, searched for eatable vegetation and caught fish. During those times, the better hunters were prime candidates. Now fast forward to us men of modernity. We don’t need to hunt animals. We instead hunt for ways to purchase food, clothes, houses and the wants of a woman, or women we lust or love.

Men who earn the most money, power, assets and respect, instinctively to a woman, are deemed better hunters. Some beautiful women feel entitled to these men simply because they’re physically beautiful. So they go after a glamorous lifestyle with a man, or the men, who can afford it.

It’s the survival of the fittest portfolio. Not making excuses for the practice of gold digging, but I can see why some women do this.

Examples of my theory:

(I). In high school, a girl once told me during a summer class, if she found a man who could easily afford the cost of a child, she’d marry him, and have all the kids he wanted.

(II). I heard on a talk radio show once that most married couples who divorced, often did so due to lack of finances.

(III). I asked many women “who would you choose: a poor man living pay check to pay check, with a great personality, who can please you sexually and romantically…Or a man rich beyond belief who is semi-interesting, who can’t be there all the time for you romantically and sexually because he’s on the go. But when he does try, he goes all out, hoping to make up for not being there?” They almost always picked the rich guy.

Hope this helps you guys. Too many suckers buy books, or listen to advise shows on attracting women, when it’s not needed. Be you and to hell with the world that doesn’t like it. Just remember guys, get your mind and life in order, you shall succeed with the ladies. Be a man, and your complimentary piece of a woman is sure to come”

Suited, Booted & Ready to Man Up

Written by Nicholas A. Brown, author, editor, and ghostwriter

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You must earn her Submission

As the saying goes: “a happy wife, happy life.” Any decent straight male who is single wants a good woman or women (shout out to the polygamist crowd) in his life, eventually. But before you get into any kind of relationship, especially with a woman who knows her femininity and submission is a powerful strength, you as a man must work toward gaining her cooperation.

Brotha with Locks just chillin

From my observation, if you’re lacking and/or not working to get better in these these areas, then you don’t deserve submission from a queen/empress/Goddess:

  • Are you working, career driven, and/or have a legal business(s) going?
  • Is your hygiene and cleanliness good?
  • Do you love and respect yourself?
  • Are you a reader and a rational thinker?
  • Are you a protector, or at least willing to squash bugs that scare her?
  • Are you willing to listen to her, and respect her insight?
  • Is your code of ethics in tact?
  • Is your belief system or spirituality in place?
  • Even when times are tough is your confidence up, or be boosted up?
  • Do you thrive on the positives and downsize the negatives?
  • Are you willing to lead logically and grow a family?

Brotha in a suit

There is more I could add but I figure these are the core of what’s needed from a man. Since I’m always working on being a better person than I was yesterday, I feel that soon I’ll be able to pursue a bride. I must establish my business in Pip N Pens Literary Publishing & Writing Firm — building a platform but as a person I’m ready. When the time is right, I need a cooperative woman who will push me, and make this man feel God body as I make her feel like an Empress.

I could be out here like was, messing with lost women who enjoy having their kicks, but I haven’t gotten intimate with anyone for about a year now. Yes, it gets lonely but I know once I’m set up, all the extra self-discovering (gaining knowledge, patience, and understanding) shall be worth it. At least I know when I do meet her, I can approach knowing I have a clean bill of health, no baby mama drama, and only upsides plus bonuses.

Now my brothers, look at yourself and seriously ask: “Do I make the cut or not?”

I hope to see you at the top, as I focus on a million. Peace.

– Nicholas A. Brown, author and co-author  

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Full Bloom Lessons: Part Deux

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Let’s mentally teleport to somewhere really nice. If you haven’t been on a vacation yet, you can thank me later for this. Imagine that we are all sitting by the water with some nice Bahama Mamas while we talk about the complexities of life. Get comfy, throw up your feet and enjoy the breeze.

There are simply not enough words to describe life transformations sometimes! If you read my latest post before this one, you would already have the tea about what has been going on spiritually with me as of late.

In that post I mainly talked more about how the entire Universe conspired to make sure everything that I knew before that time fell ALL the way apart. Contrary to popular belief, things falling apart is not always a bad thing. Actually it’s a REALLY good thing. Let me explain.

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For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction. – Cynthia Occelli

It’s easy to get on social media, post pictures and create amazingly inspirational statuses that will help motivate anyone. But it’s an entirely different thing to be in the midst of everything falling apart (or so it seems) and still manage to be vulnerable. Easier said than done, trust me. You know, we all get on each other about posting the “highlights” of our lives all the time and how happy everyone portrays their lives to be. There are even studies that prove how this affects some people. But do you want to know the kinds of things I like seeing when I scroll through my timeline? Authentic, raw and transparent commentary about the journey of someone who is constantly striving to BE light. And being HONEST about it. You can’t paint a pretty picture all the time.

This isn’t to say that it has to be a novel or that I enjoy digitally feeling people crying their eyes out every five minutes about the low points in their life. I still believe some things need to be kept in a journal, yes.  What I’m trying to say is that as a society AND community, we have a really hard time truly being vulnerable when our shit really does stink. Even worse, sometimes we lack the grace to express it in the right way. And you can forget about holding ourselves accountable for it all. Ask me how I know? I was given the same reality check.

Quite frankly, my recent process of coming undone most definitely triumphs the process I had going on almost a year ago, when I was embracing the unknown of some things that were transpiring in my life at that time. When going through things in my life, my usual M.O. is to immediately find a safe, hidden space to figure it all out. To the public, I will sometimes put on the “poker face”. Honey, Lady Gaga had nothing on my game. During this transformation period, I found myself being thrown out of my comfort zone and into experiences where I HAD to be vulnerable and raw about what was going on at that time. I couldn’t understand why I was getting opportunities left and right BUT in the midst of me having to put things on hold and feeling like everything wasn’t going to work out the way I planned.

Here are a few lessons I learned along the way:

Lesson 1: Your Vulnerability Heals Others Too

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It was in those moments where I realized that the Universe was straight ripping my cloak off of me for all the world to see ( at least that’s the way it felt to me). Even though I still had time to stay to myself and work behind the scenes to sort some things out, there was still another side that was drawing things in. During this time, I vividly remember a friend of mine reaching out for my writing services. I didn’t realize how burned out I was getting until I started to work on what he needed my help with. I mean, I literally had THEE hardest time writing things that were so natural to me. My mind and heart were all over the place. Instead of my friend catching an attitude, he called me out and reached out to me in a way that let me know “Hey, there’s someone who understands EXACTLY what I’m going through. All I had to do was open up a little more.” When I expressed what was going on, he helped me through my emotions and even gave me some tips on how to resolve and improve certain things. Over the course of some weeks, not only did this help me finish up the project HE needed from me much faster, but it also allowed me to help him through something he needed which in turn greatly helped BOTH of our businesses in a HUGE way. Now we look back at it in awe and laugh because it was THAT mind-blowing. Had I not laid down my resistance and allowed myself to be vulnerable, I would have missed a vital piece of my undoing. You see how that works?

Pause. 

LADIES: If you don’t have really amazing male friends, you better get you some! Masculine presence is everything that you need! Don’t act like you don’t know!

Play.

Lesson 2: Know Who You Are At Your Core..And Don’t Apologize For That Shit!

While going through this transformation, I was also going through the process of a complicated breakup. Complications make everything else..well even more complicated. Imagine being that butterfly that is completely changing its form and DNA while watching your caterpillar of a boyfriend become unrecognizable to you right before your very eyes. Yea. It was like that. Where I was going, I just couldn’t take certain people. And I most DEFINITELY couldn’t allow apart of myself to die because I wanted to stay recognizable to them either. The conflict and frustration that I endured throughout that whole ordeal helped me to stand more firm in who I was and to NEVER let anyone define that for me ever again. The more I was allowing myself to be taken away from my core, the more my essence starting running back to it like my life depended on it. Because it actually did. To the person on the outside, I was seen as being a “rebel”. I realized that if that’s what I had to be to be unapologetically me, then they could buy me the shirt to go with it!

It is SO important to not only know who are, but OWN it and not worry about how you will be judged. Why? Because for every ONE person that can’t deal with that part of you (mostly because that part of you challenges a part of THEM they haven’t addressed within themselves yet..Uh oh, am I stepping on some toes yet? STOMP. ) there is a WHOLE crew waiting for you to express that part so they can snatch you up, love you, guide you and SUPPORT you like the long-lost little sister/brother they never had.

So let those few “can’t dealers” go. I can guarantee you that as they walk away, there’s a spark you lit in them that won’t go away. It will light them up eventually.

Lesson 3: Grace is Sufficient, So Fall Right

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Like I described the fall of the Sky Mother, Ataensic, in Native American Mythology, I too had felt like I had fell from grace. HARD. In my eyes, there was just nothing cute about how everything was just breaking apart. To the people that know me really well, my turmoil could be seen on my face. To redirect the energy spent brooding over things that were just not working out, I would throw myself into other things. I’m not one to sulk for too long. Doing everything on my own was causing me to become very low tolerant with certain things with my friends, needing more solitude than usual and eventually I didn’t even feel like doing my usual spiritual practices because I was so out of it emotionally.

I do not at all understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us. ~ Anne Lamott

What I was reminded of was that in some ways, I was loosing my grace. As a dancer, I’ve always been taught to never worry about the little mistakes or fumbles that I may make during a live performance. It’s always important to keep dancing. Why? Because those little mistakes you make look COMPLETELY different to the audience. If anything, they think that it’s apart of the flow of choreography you’re expressing and appreciate it even more. I can attest to that fully. You would think I would’ve remembered this when I felt like I was stumbling all over the place during my transformation period but..reminders have an uncanny way of coming when they’re needed, and NOT when you expect them.

“When life doesn’t meet your expectations, it was important to take it with grace.”

Patricia Briggs, When Demons Walk 

Wanna know a secret? Although I’ve felt as if I’ve already broken out of my Chrysalis, I am still getting used to these new wings. It’s said that when a butterfly has emerged out of its cocoon, its wings are still wet. However, this doesn’t mean that her wings are too wet to fly. What you don’t see close up is that she has to push the fluid from the front of her little body TO her wings so that she’s balanced, poised and ready for take off.

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You ain’t seen nothing yet. 

“Butterflies are self propelled flowers.”

Robert A. Heinlein

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*smooches*

EWF-LOGO-OR 2

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