“I NEED SOME ME TIME!!!!” The Amazing Benefits of Holistic Rest

Focusing your intentions on others can be a dicey game, while allowing the energy of others to merge with your own for sake of a common goal or elevating experience can be essential to human development. How much is too much? and is that amount of energy different for each person?

Couple sitting at bar and looking irritated

It is common more often than not to be encouraged by others to become more social. People who are “Anti social” are often looked at as crazy or flawed in some way. I believe that description is a blanket term used to describe what seems to be the stirring question no-one wants to answer; What do I do when I’m alone?

Bored Young Woman Stirring Coffee --- Image by © Vincent Mo/zefa/Corbis

See many fear being alone because it can stir up latent emotions and bring them to the surface while others absolutely need it as an essential part of their re-calibration process. So the question becomes when and how much time do I need for myself and how do I know when I need to take that time?
As, an empath when I need to take alone time it becomes apparent extremely quickly as I begin to become overly sensitive to other peoples emotions in a valitole and negative way. My body even begins to hold on to these emotions and they manifest as symptoms like headaches, pains, or even other more serious ailments. How do I know when the root of my illness is emotional? When I’ve taken all the proper physical precautions of diet, exercises, hydration, and rest and I am still in pain or uncomfortable this denotes an energetic issue.
That’s how I know its time for some “ME TIME.” Me time is how I re-calibrate my senses, much like a machine the body and mind often need time to power down and come into sleep or off mode if you will. What happens to a computer that is used often and never powered off? Even the best technology will still eventually falter if it doesn’t get rest. Your body and mind are the same. Even if you are getting enough sleep, that is not enough you need holistic rest. I briefly discussed this in my previous blog “7 surprising things I learned while on my 7 day liquid cleanse” link : (https://ataensicmedia.wordpress.com/…) I can not stress enough the importance of holistic rest, holistic is a term meaning that of which encompasses the whole self mind, body, spirit, and even soul and all of the various aspects in which these things manifest. More often than not our rest is 1 dimensional only comprising 1 aspect of self.
When we begin to recharge our whole selves we can then regenerate any correlating aspects that may have began to become damaged or are damaged in the process. The length of time that holistic rest must last will differ from person to person but ultimately it will all come down to creating a sense of peaceful awareness with-in.
Holistic rest may not be considered rest at all it may be activities that allow us to clear our mind, the rest simply being from our monotonous realities. Activities like running, swimming, hiking, yoga, and of course meditation can help us to clear our mind of cluttering thoughts, while elevating the necessary restorative hormones in our body to create an over all sense of release, peace, and balance. Even hobbies like writing, photography, and painting can have similar effects on the body and mind. With all this in mind it is extremely imperative that we not only take time to rest our bodies but to rest holistically, so that we can maintain an over all state of homeostasis; assisting us in creating happier, healthier, and less stressful lives.

Happy Woman in Meadow --- Image by © Patrik Giardino/Corbis

So the next time your feeling out of sorts, ask yourself, “Have I taken the proper amount of rest time for myself? and when is the last time I did?” The answer may shock you but no worries employ the technique of holistic rest for at-least 20 mins 3-4x a week and watch your agitation dissipate into contentment. I hope this information empowers you to cultivate the most important relationship you could ever establish in life, the one with yourself. Don’t forget to stay connected via our many social media platforms!
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I Sneak Popcorn into the Movies

Popcorn Wonder Twins

I have a confession. When I go to the movies, I pop my own popcorn and sneak it in.  Not because I’m frugal or can’t afford movie theatre popcorn. Primarily because I refuse to allow anyone to sneak toxins into my diet. How did I start this smart behavior? Well, let me tell you. Several years ago, I decided to buy popcorn at the theatre. I kicked back and relaxed in the comfy theatre style seat. I took a sip of my iced tea which had just the right amount of lemon and stevia. Oh yeah! I hook it up. Then, I ate a handful of popcorn. It tasted like sugar and plastic. I immediately stopped chowing down and pulled out my phone, opened up the web browser and typed in “movie theatre popcorn ingredients.” The trailers were rolling and my phone light was dim so I wasn’t disturbing the peace.

You might be surprised to know that this so called tasty treat is full of crap. Let’s start with the popcorn itself. The movie theatre didn’t share the source of the yellow kernels so I was left to assume they either didn’t know or didn’t understand why someone would want to know. Even though most corn in the United States is genetically modified, the popcorn experts state that popcorn comes from a different seed that has not been compromised. That’s what they say. I’m not sure I believe it. Also, most movie theaters are buying popcorn from conventional sources which means, it’s grown using insecticides, herbicides, fungicides, and fumigants. Then other chemicals are used to treat the corn.

Back in the day, they used to pop popcorn with real coconut oil but when Americans bought into the low fat craze, they stopped and now they say they pop it with butter. Since I’m not vegan or vegetarian, I would be cool if they popped it with ghee or butter from grassfed cows who were raised eating organic grass and if they had to have supplemental feed, I’d want that to be organic, too. Now, you know the movie theatre charges high ass prices but they definitely aren’t popping the popcorn in real butter. It’s hydrogenated coconut oil which is a trans fat and highly toxic to our body. If the theatre claims they use canola oil, it’s probably partially hydrogenated canola oil, which is also a toxic trans fat. Canola oil AKA rapeseed oil consumption is rumored to be one of the leading causes of heart disease by the way. Just the fact that they had to change the name from rapeseed oil to canola oil to make it more marketable should be a warning sign.

Then there’s the flavoring agent in butter. It’s actually worse than MSG type natural flavors. This crap caused lung disease amongst a group of workers who worked in the factory where it was produced. And you know it also has salt on it. And not the good stuff. No pink Himalayan crystals or Celtic Sea Salt. Oh no, that would be too much like right. It’s that white, poisonous craps that’s on most American tables in salt shakers. Yet another bleached body toxin. And back to that sugar. I never saw the ingredient listed anywhere but it’s in there. Trust me. I’m a former sugar addict and I know sugar when I taste it. I’ve heard from others that they tasted it to so I’m definitely not crazy.

So what’s the solution? I’ve already shared it. Pop your own! You control the ingredients and I’ll let you figure out how to get it in but I’ll tell you this.

Popcorn 2

  • Get it from a clean source. I live in Ohio and we have some nice Amish people here who love to do things the old fashioned way and they just happen to sell popcorn.
  • Use extra virgin coconut oil instead of butter, canola oil, or whatever oil you use. Coconut oil can withstand high temperatures so it doesn’t become poisonous to your body when you eat it. Plus, it tastes like butter. In fact, better than butter. Using this oil makes it so my vegan and vegetarian homies can indulge, too.
  • Use pink Himalayan salt or Celtic Sea Salt instead of white table salt. Need I say more about that?
  • If you like cheese or that fake cheese flavoring, try nutritional yeast. People debate the benefits or lack thereof of nutritional yeast. I love it and so do my husband and children. It’s a staple in our home.

So there you have it. Now you know my movie theatre secret. Thanks for reading my true confession and I encourage you to enjoy this tasty snack.

Health is Wealth

Peace & Love Family! Welcome to Love Oneness Blog! Please allow us the opportunity to reintroduce ourselves. My name is Miyat, born Monica K.C. Bentley. My Twin Flame, best friend, and husband, is Sirius, born Antwan E. Ford. We invite you to come along on our journey toward holistic health that just so happens to be a love story. We are rebranding ourselves to offer solutions of healing for the body, mind and spirit.

My husband, Sirius, has been on his journey for over 15 years. His journey really began with the shocking diagnosis of a life threatening disease. He was initially given only 18 months to live. And after going through the torture of orthodox medicine, he decided to completely change his lifestyle and try natural and alternative remedies to restore his health. (YouTube video about his amazing testimony to health coming soon). I already was exploring natural health options. But, after his declaration, I decided to obtain my Bachelor’s Degree in Alternative Medicine. Throughout the past 7 years, we have become masters in healing ourselves. We are having an internal love affair. Our family is the byproduct of the holistic healing we are giving to ourselves.

Health is wealth. Health is the most valuable gift a person has. It is not money, material possessions, or your relationships. Your health is the one component in your life that will define your potential to succeed in all other facets of your life. Health is the one thing that is most taken for granted, especially in our society. Our total destruction or resurrection depends on how we respect our bodies, and nature. We must become aware of the poisons and toxins we put into our bodies, and the effects they have on us. “Poison is substances causing illness or death when eaten, drunk, or absorbed even in relatively small quantities”, according to Queen Afua, in her book Heal ThySelf for Health and Longevity. When we heal,we must be prepared to heal physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We must heal completely.

Let me start by taking a realistic look at the state of health in the United States. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), the United States ranks 37th in the world in regard to Health. Many people may not see this as alarming. However, the average medicine (drug) developed by major pharmaceutical companies cost anywhere between a minimum of about $4 billion and as high as about $11 trillion.Big Pharma is big business. These statistics alone begs to question, if pharmaceutical companies can spend that much money on the average drug, then why does the U.S rank in 37th in health? Are people really being cured? Are Big Pharma companies really searching for a cure? It’s time to consider what it means to be treated for a disease.

According to Medical News Today, nearly 75% of all deaths are attributed to just 10 causes, with the top 3 of these accounting for over 50% of all deaths. We are just going to discuss the first 3 causes of death and some common diseases!

  1. Heart Disease describes several conditions, which relate to plaque (mucus) buildup in the walls of the arteries. As plaque builds, 5he arteries narrow making it difficult for blood to flow. Heart disease kills 1 out of 4 people. It is the leading cause of death affecting more men than women. Coronary Heart Disease costs $108.9 billion each year.
  2. Cancer is defined by uncontrolled growth and the spread of abnormal cells. Cancer affects people of all genders, ages and ethnicities. Anyone can develop cancer. The chances of developing cancer increases with age, exposures to carcinogens (chemicals & toxins) and genetics. The National Institute of Health (NIH) estimate over $200billion spent in 2009 alone. Interestingly, the World Cancer Research Fund estimates one-third of cancer cases… are related to being overweight, obese, inactive (sedentary) or having poor nutrition. AND GUESS WHAT?! About 40% of the US population is obese. $147 billion are the medical costs associated with obesity. When is the last time you had a discussion with your doctor about nutrition? Never mind, working in harmony to construct a plan to adjust your eating habits and lifestyle.
  3. Chronic Lower Respiratory Disease is the collection of lung disease that causes airflow blockage and breathing issues including Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD). It is estimated medical costs will rise from $32.1 billion in 2010 to $49 billion in 2020. Smoking is the primary factor, although exposure to air pollutants play an significant role as well.

High Blood Pressure affects one third of Americans. Some of the risk factors that cause high blood pressure is being overweight, or obese, not exercising enough, excessive amount of salt intake, poor eating habits, and stress. Luckily, these factors are ones you may control. Blood pressure is a major factor related to stroke.

Diabetes ranks the 7th leading cause of disease. 29.1 million Americans have diabetes. Diabetes can be genetic. However, most cases can be controlled or prevented with proper nutrition.

Some of the foods to be aware of that can cause disease are meats, sugar, salts, fried foods, fast foods, starches, and dairy. The purpose of meats are to provide protein. But meats also cause infections, constipation, headaches, cancer, and premature aging. Instead of eating meat, some substitutes are beans, peas, tofu, TVP, lentils, nuts seeds and sprouts. Sugar, in the form of corn syrup, corn sugar, white sugar, or brown sugar, can cause hyperactivity, stress, bone deterioration, poor memory, loss of hair, and bladder cancer. The best source of natural sweets come from fruits. Salt is an inorganic mineral that cannot be absorbed by cells. It can irate the bloodstream and stomach and blocks digestion. It also causes high blood pressure, kidney and liver disease. Kale, celery, carrots, lettuce provide natural sodium. Or as an alternative use Himalayan salt or Sea Salt. Fried Foods clog arteries. Symptoms of fried foods can manifest as cold hands and feet, sluggishness, heart palpitations, headaches, swollen ankles and hands, and high blood pressure. Flushing your system with lemon water can cleanse your system of plaque and mucus. Starches, such as white bread, white rice, and macaroni are difficult to digest. They clog the colon causing constipation. A clogged colon is responsible for 90% of our diseases, according to Dr. Robert Wood, quoted in Heal Thyself… Eat whole grains such as tabouli, bulgar wheat, couscous,etc. and only before sunset. Otherwise, you can wake up feeling fatigued, anxious, and depressed. We consume dairy to provide calcium for growth and strength of our bones. However, dairy causes allergies, asthma, hay fever, vaginal discharge, fibroids, and boils. Alternatives to dairy are almond milk, green vegetables such as kale, broccoli, spinach and wheatgrass, and herbs, like spirulina, dandelion and alfalfa, which are high in calcium.

Knowing most diseases can be prevented by choosing to eat nutritious, vitamin and mineral rich foods can be the difference between life and death. It’s time to take your health seriously. It’s your responsibility. Let your food be your medicine!





Queen Afua. Heal ThySelf  for Health and Longevity. A&B Publishers Group. 2002




Miyat and Sirius journey into health started when Sirius was diagnosed with a life threatening disease. Miyat obtained her Bachelor’s of Science in Alternative Medicine and now is a Holistic Health Specialist, Certified Reiki Master, Holistic Doula, and Blogger. Sirius is a Life Coach, specializing in nutrition, meditation, and relationship counseling. Be on the look out for website coming soon!

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Face your demons — Leave us out of it

Some people have their version of insanity going in their lives. They’re either constantly complaining about jobs, no good significant others who maybe cheating or beating on them, and/or substances they’re addicted to.

I’m not a bad guy so I’ll lend a ear, give some advice, drop you off to rehab, or call the cops if its that serious. But after that one time, if I see you’re stuck on repeat, I’ll just leave you alone. I got no time for masochistic gluttons for punishment — I got a world to face and money to make!

argue “Not today, don’t kill me with it”

A guy who I know on Facebook calls these people “askholes,” because they ask about the same problem again and again, without change. If I see that you’re continuing the same sob story, I’ll quit picking up your phone calls. If we’re face to face, I’ll tell you that you’re tripping and to try what I suggested already, or don’t tell me about. I may get viewed the a**hole, but f**k it I’ll be that.

If you’re getting good advice, or similar advice about a particular problem then put it into practice. Don’t keep dragging us down with a problem you seem to enjoy having in your life. So drama queen or emotional a** man: Not today, don’t kill me with it.

Written by Nicholas A. Brown, author, editor, and ghostwriter

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The Boss is Never Ugly

While growing up on the Black sides of Miami, one of the things I learned quickly: Men with money who made moves and had clout got respect from everyone. All of the men my mother dated were guys with something going for themselves. Some had a illegal businesses, but I knew these dudes weren’t scrubs and they were cool people.


Shaka Zulu movie box set


It was always the guy with smarts, who knew what they wanted and how to get it who were the center of attention. I never seen these guys make threats, they only gave warnings if fools got out of pocket. And if they did show anger, it was a momentary spurt that was needed to regain the upper hand in a tense situation.

They usually remained quiet, and if they spoke it was a short and well thought out response. They are the Joe Cool’s of the world. They are the CEOs who know that actions are man’s greatest orator. They are the rulers of the day, or the sovereigns of the night.

For example, have you ever seen any President of the U.S.A get on television, radio, or in newspapers go on a loud and angry tirade? Have you ever seen any British Prime Minister go off like an NFL coach who’s sick of losing close games? People with real power need not worry, so play it cool as you go for yours.


Fidel Castro & Malcolm X


Gentleman, please understand this: power is the greatest aphrodisiac known to man. It can have the biggest diva force herself to be self-conscious when around a powerful man.

Yeah its cool to work out and eat right, and its fine to have read an entire library including encyclopedias; but what gets a woman going is knowing her man is in control, and all important things shall get handled or heads will roll.


Omari Hardwick portraits “Ghost” on the show POWER

Deep down on a primal instinct level, a man with power is seen as a provider. Some guys may look like hell, but if he has clout and confidence, his chances of having women around is high. It’s almost as if that man can have sex with whomever and whenever he chooses.


One of my favorite songs from back in the day was from DJ Quick called Hand in Hand. Its a track I still play from time to time when I’m getting suited and booted to go out. The message I like most about this track, is that a man must get his life and money right before he thinks about stepping to the kind of women that he wants.

Good Brotha

Lamman Rucker

I’m going to close this out with a section from the book Dragonflies in the Swamp that may enlighten you. I hope this helps, and I’ll see you at the top.

“As a man remember, always focus on being successful in your field. As one guy told me, ‘being a rich man is like being a beautiful woman.’ A dude could look like Quasimodo, if he’s rich or wealthy, even chicks who’ve won beauty pageants will chase him. I used to think this was semi-gold digging, if not all out gold digging. Until I came up with a theory that helped me gain perspective.

My Gold Digger Theory:

Thousands of years ago, us men hunted animals, searched for eatable vegetation and caught fish. During those times, the better hunters were prime candidates. Now fast forward to us men of modernity. We don’t need to hunt animals. We instead hunt for ways to purchase food, clothes, houses and the wants of a woman, or women we lust or love.

Men who earn the most money, power, assets and respect, instinctively to a woman, are deemed better hunters. Some beautiful women feel entitled to these men simply because they’re physically beautiful. So they go after a glamorous lifestyle with a man, or the men, who can afford it.

It’s the survival of the fittest portfolio. Not making excuses for the practice of gold digging, but I can see why some women do this.

Examples of my theory:

(I). In high school, a girl once told me during a summer class, if she found a man who could easily afford the cost of a child, she’d marry him, and have all the kids he wanted.

(II). I heard on a talk radio show once that most married couples who divorced, often did so due to lack of finances.

(III). I asked many women “who would you choose: a poor man living pay check to pay check, with a great personality, who can please you sexually and romantically…Or a man rich beyond belief who is semi-interesting, who can’t be there all the time for you romantically and sexually because he’s on the go. But when he does try, he goes all out, hoping to make up for not being there?” They almost always picked the rich guy.

Hope this helps you guys. Too many suckers buy books, or listen to advise shows on attracting women, when it’s not needed. Be you and to hell with the world that doesn’t like it. Just remember guys, get your mind and life in order, you shall succeed with the ladies. Be a man, and your complimentary piece of a woman is sure to come”

Suited, Booted & Ready to Man Up

Written by Nicholas A. Brown, author, editor, and ghostwriter

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Every Part of You Is Precious; Even Your Butt

I’m writing this blog post, mostly out of a favor to a woman named Barbara. I met Barbara at a Jamaican Pizza Joint that sells the best Vegan jerk chicken you’ve ever dreamed about… but that’s another topic.

Barbara’s the mom of a beautiful little baby girl that almost made me consider having another… then I remembered that I like sleep. While I was loading my four children into my hand-me-down minivan (ain’t family awesome!), Barbara walked up and asked if my 2 year-old was wearing a cloth diaper.

Why yes, she was.

Remember my post about chemicals in my hair.. well, I’m even more freaked out about chemicals on my butt. And about the same time I decided I was done with relaxers, (at least the first time) I also decided my babies would wear as few Pampers as possible.


Here are three facts about Disposable Diapers:

  • They don’t leak. That’s thanks to not good fabric, but straight up chemicals. The same chemicals that are linked to Toxic Shock Syndrome (in tampons). Seems reckless to expose your baby (especially baby girls) to that risk.
  • You just throw them away, along with everything else. Disposable diapers make up 2% of waste nowadays. They are typically not biodegradable, and are 70% trees. At least you can recover the energy from the 30% petroleum that is left over.
  • They don’t stink up your house. Instead, they stink up the landfills with poop. Hey, it’s not like the Pamper people didn’t warn you, they clearly say flush the shit down the toilet… yet who does that?


So now that you know the facts, here are some truths about Cloth Diapers.

They are cute

If your idea of cloth diapers is something like this:

 old cloth diapers

You’ve got it all wrong.. Cloth diapers actually involve a cover, the diaper, and possibly a liner and look more like this:

Cute pink diaper

Check out Rumparooz, Blueberry, and Thirsties for some super cute diaper covers that don’t leak. (These are just some examples… find your favorite brand! Mine is this one:

They Can Be Simple

Everyone always asks me if it’s hard to deal with cloth diapers… The answer is ‘not really’. First thing, forget about the safety pin.. That’s only used at baby showers to scare pregnant moms. Real cloth diapering moms use Snappis.

Modern cloth diapers can be all-in-one or even pre-folded so that you don’t have to do any work. Pre-folded ones are the ones you’ll find in stores like Babies-R-Us and Walmart. You’ll need a cover and some Snappis to go with them.

I indulged and bought these… working on kid#2 and year #3

You don’t have to touch Poop

C’mon now, that shit is gross. Try getting flushable liners that make it super easy to go cloth. Tear off the flushable liner, place in a diaper, baby poops, lift dry part of liner, flush it all down the toilet.

If you do not want to waste paper, you can also use a diaper sprayer… it’s like a personal water hose in your bathroom.

diaper sprayer

My final cloth diapering advice is laundering. Do not make it more complicated than it needs to be. Seriously. You can either wash as is in your washer or pre-soak in 10% bleach water (not recommended on bamboo diapers). Some people recommend against that, especially if you buy the high-end diapers, but that’s what I do when they are particularly soiled.

Here is a pretty straight forward guide to washing cloth diapers.

If you absolutely don’t want to wash diapers, or you are a new mom, and could use some help…. Hire a diaper cleaning service – It’s surprisingly reasonable, especially when they provide the diapers, soap, and labor. Yeah, I cheated and used them for the first 6 months of two of my children – don’t JUDGE ME!!

Got more cloth diaper questions? Ask away – I’ve got 8 years of poopy diapers under my belt.

How Money effects the Battle of the Sexes

As a millennial, I heard from my mother and other older women how way back (from the 1940s to the 70s), some men abandoned their families, or when they died the widows were clueless on what to do. Back then men were the main breadwinners, while women stayed home. Even if the women had a job, it was part-time because they had to get back home to take care of their youngin’.

With time and many protests, the women of these 2010s are now career driven and monetarily motivated. No longer are they dependent on having to marry up. All they got to do is get a degree or start a business. Men are still out here making moves, but our complimentary partners (women) are doing it big too.


This forward progress brings into play men asking should they continue being traditional on dates (i.e. a man paying the check at dinner), and if they should be chivalrous since some of these women claim to not want such treatment. These types of situations mentioned have occurred a lot lately. But with most sensible folks, one of the first things they seek in a potential partner is their ability to bring something to the table.

Couple counting money

In today’s world, a two income home is needed in order to raise a family. Granted, there are situations where a person is a single parent whose working, and exceptions to the rule where a woman married a rich and/or wealthy man. Nonetheless, outside of the so-called 1%, men and women work thus having 2 people bringing money, assets and other tangible funds into their union. No man doesn’t want to take care of a lazy ass woman, and I’m sure no woman is thrilled about taking care of a grown ass man.

This is a major reason why I’m choosing not to date seriously as of now. I’ve been finding my way through this literary, copy writing and consulting game for about 14 months now (SHAMELESS PLUG, CLICK HERE), and until I start making a certain amount consistently, I won’t begin getting to know anyone on a more long term basis. I want to have myself 100% right, for when I meet a woman who is 100%, we can put forth 200% effort when we get together.


In any war there are losses. Though women are progressing, some feel if a man isn’t making more than they are, they can’t respect him. The guy could be making $60,000 a year, if she’s making $100,000 then he can’t even have a simple coffee or lunch date with her. There are some circumstances where money plays such a huge part, that it can server a whole marriage.


This one episode of a news magazine show someone posted on YouTube I saw a while back, did a story about how a wife lost respect for her husband, after he was downsized from his job at an accounting firm in 2009.

The guy was pulling in close to 90 grand as an accountant at the firm, while she was making about the same in her career field. During the months after losing his job, he was doing freelance work, making about 20 – 25 thousand per year, while searching for another firm to work at. Not only was he still making some kind of effort to bring in funds, he also played Mr. Mom and took more care of their son.

Even though the man was doing what many women would kill to have a man do for them, because he wasn’t clocking dough in the near six-figure range, the wife fell out of love. She was distant, and claimed that she wasn’t sexually attracted to him anymore. She was acting so cold toward him, I felt the frost from her shoulder through the monitor.

The getting of money and still wanting for greater has really warped some women’s idea of the ideal man. That same guy in that report was a good father, college educated, and still was able to contribute something. But because he didn’t meet her standards, she cut him off. These kind of women act as if guys who are making $100,000 or better are just sprouting like leaves on trees — acting as if she couldn’t have his back when he was down. Then they wonder why they’re single in their late 30s, or divorced in their 40s, trying to figure out what did they do wrong? No man wants to be with, or come home to a woman like that!

Plus, even if a woman like this did find a guy who was a millionaire, who says he’d take care of her and treat her right like a guy making $30,000 per year would?

1 Woman Scream


Another thing some of these paper chasing women need to do is know when to fall back. Many of today’s modern women can’t seem to understand that most men want to lead. There are some couples where the woman wears the proverbial pants of their union, and they’re both content with this dynamic. But for the most part, men are out to be the head of their union.

Modern women are use to being masters of their own universes. So when a stand-up guy comes along, a lot of them don’t know how not to be boss lady, especially when with a headstrong male. These ladies feel because they’re in control of their job environment, and give final word on major decisions in their life, when a good guy comes along asserting himself into the lead role, she’ll begin to fight back.

You also can’t forget those women who are workaholics — the kinds of women putting career first, child second (if he has one with her), and her man last. To many women, trying to juggle family, career, and intimacy is damn near impossible — something has to fall to the way side. So yeah, if she’s making mad money at her job, it may be worse than you think. That’s why with women I shall date, I won’t put heavy emphasis on how much money they make. Long as she’s doing something productive, and helps me with my grind then I’m a happy camper.

Miss Independent, if he’s a great guy whose bringing something to the table, and can be a candidate for father of the year then learn to fall back, and trust in your man. Learn that being cooperative and allowing a worthy man to step up, will be the best decision you could ever make for your relationship. But as I always stress ladies, only if he’s proven himself capable, and willing to accept your input as a partner.



Men and women must come together in this new millennium, making money in order to live close to, or actually achieving a middle class or upper middle class lifestyle. Yes, we have more acceptance of single parenthood (mainly for women), but still those in a relationship or who want a relationship must find a way to make things work.

Both men and women must be self-sufficient in today’s world, in order for them to build a life together. Make sure as a man, you don’t put too much emphasis on her bringing a lot of money to the table. And as a woman, do not consider money the most important factor when choosing a man.

The battle of the sexes is stupid to me, because men and women are here to compliment each other. As time goes by, I hope the world realizes this so we can grow on a global scale. Until then, let’s keep progressing by not letting money cloud our better judgement.

– Nicholas Brown, co-author of So You Want To Be A Stripper? The Comprehensive Guide To Go From Girl-Next-Door To Pole Dancing Diva 




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