Face your demons — Leave us out of it

Some people have their version of insanity going in their lives. They’re either constantly complaining about jobs, no good significant others who maybe cheating or beating on them, and/or substances they’re addicted to.

I’m not a bad guy so I’ll lend a ear, give some advice, drop you off to rehab, or call the cops if its that serious. But after that one time, if I see you’re stuck on repeat, I’ll just leave you alone. I got no time for masochistic gluttons for punishment — I got a world to face and money to make!

argue “Not today, don’t kill me with it”

A guy who I know on Facebook calls these people “askholes,” because they ask about the same problem again and again, without change. If I see that you’re continuing the same sob story, I’ll quit picking up your phone calls. If we’re face to face, I’ll tell you that you’re tripping and to try what I suggested already, or don’t tell me about. I may get viewed the a**hole, but f**k it I’ll be that.

If you’re getting good advice, or similar advice about a particular problem then put it into practice. Don’t keep dragging us down with a problem you seem to enjoy having in your life. So drama queen or emotional a** man: Not today, don’t kill me with it.

Written by Nicholas A. Brown, author, editor, and ghostwriter

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The Boss is Never Ugly

While growing up on the Black sides of Miami, one of the things I learned quickly: Men with money who made moves and had clout got respect from everyone. All of the men my mother dated were guys with something going for themselves. Some had a illegal businesses, but I knew these dudes weren’t scrubs and they were cool people.

shaka-zulu-africas-greatest-warrior-king

Shaka Zulu movie box set

BE HEARD WITHOUT GETTING LOUD

It was always the guy with smarts, who knew what they wanted and how to get it who were the center of attention. I never seen these guys make threats, they only gave warnings if fools got out of pocket. And if they did show anger, it was a momentary spurt that was needed to regain the upper hand in a tense situation.

They usually remained quiet, and if they spoke it was a short and well thought out response. They are the Joe Cool’s of the world. They are the CEOs who know that actions are man’s greatest orator. They are the rulers of the day, or the sovereigns of the night.

For example, have you ever seen any President of the U.S.A get on television, radio, or in newspapers go on a loud and angry tirade? Have you ever seen any British Prime Minister go off like an NFL coach who’s sick of losing close games? People with real power need not worry, so play it cool as you go for yours.

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Fidel Castro & Malcolm X

LADIES LOVE BIG BOSS

Gentleman, please understand this: power is the greatest aphrodisiac known to man. It can have the biggest diva force herself to be self-conscious when around a powerful man.

Yeah its cool to work out and eat right, and its fine to have read an entire library including encyclopedias; but what gets a woman going is knowing her man is in control, and all important things shall get handled or heads will roll.

Ghost

Omari Hardwick portraits “Ghost” on the show POWER

Deep down on a primal instinct level, a man with power is seen as a provider. Some guys may look like hell, but if he has clout and confidence, his chances of having women around is high. It’s almost as if that man can have sex with whomever and whenever he chooses.

MONEY, POWER, AND THE RESPECT THAT FOLLOWS 

One of my favorite songs from back in the day was from DJ Quick called Hand in Hand. Its a track I still play from time to time when I’m getting suited and booted to go out. The message I like most about this track, is that a man must get his life and money right before he thinks about stepping to the kind of women that he wants.

Good Brotha

Lamman Rucker

I’m going to close this out with a section from the book Dragonflies in the Swamp that may enlighten you. I hope this helps, and I’ll see you at the top.

“As a man remember, always focus on being successful in your field. As one guy told me, ‘being a rich man is like being a beautiful woman.’ A dude could look like Quasimodo, if he’s rich or wealthy, even chicks who’ve won beauty pageants will chase him. I used to think this was semi-gold digging, if not all out gold digging. Until I came up with a theory that helped me gain perspective.

My Gold Digger Theory:

Thousands of years ago, us men hunted animals, searched for eatable vegetation and caught fish. During those times, the better hunters were prime candidates. Now fast forward to us men of modernity. We don’t need to hunt animals. We instead hunt for ways to purchase food, clothes, houses and the wants of a woman, or women we lust or love.

Men who earn the most money, power, assets and respect, instinctively to a woman, are deemed better hunters. Some beautiful women feel entitled to these men simply because they’re physically beautiful. So they go after a glamorous lifestyle with a man, or the men, who can afford it.

It’s the survival of the fittest portfolio. Not making excuses for the practice of gold digging, but I can see why some women do this.

Examples of my theory:

(I). In high school, a girl once told me during a summer class, if she found a man who could easily afford the cost of a child, she’d marry him, and have all the kids he wanted.

(II). I heard on a talk radio show once that most married couples who divorced, often did so due to lack of finances.

(III). I asked many women “who would you choose: a poor man living pay check to pay check, with a great personality, who can please you sexually and romantically…Or a man rich beyond belief who is semi-interesting, who can’t be there all the time for you romantically and sexually because he’s on the go. But when he does try, he goes all out, hoping to make up for not being there?” They almost always picked the rich guy.

Hope this helps you guys. Too many suckers buy books, or listen to advise shows on attracting women, when it’s not needed. Be you and to hell with the world that doesn’t like it. Just remember guys, get your mind and life in order, you shall succeed with the ladies. Be a man, and your complimentary piece of a woman is sure to come”

Suited, Booted & Ready to Man Up

Written by Nicholas A. Brown, author, editor, and ghostwriter

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You must earn her Submission

As the saying goes: “a happy wife, happy life.” Any decent straight male who is single wants a good woman or women (shout out to the polygamist crowd) in his life, eventually. But before you get into any kind of relationship, especially with a woman who knows her femininity and submission is a powerful strength, you as a man must work toward gaining her cooperation.

Brotha with Locks just chillin

From my observation, if you’re lacking and/or not working to get better in these these areas, then you don’t deserve submission from a queen/empress/Goddess:

  • Are you working, career driven, and/or have a legal business(s) going?
  • Is your hygiene and cleanliness good?
  • Do you love and respect yourself?
  • Are you a reader and a rational thinker?
  • Are you a protector, or at least willing to squash bugs that scare her?
  • Are you willing to listen to her, and respect her insight?
  • Is your code of ethics in tact?
  • Is your belief system or spirituality in place?
  • Even when times are tough is your confidence up, or be boosted up?
  • Do you thrive on the positives and downsize the negatives?
  • Are you willing to lead logically and grow a family?

Brotha in a suit

There is more I could add but I figure these are the core of what’s needed from a man. Since I’m always working on being a better person than I was yesterday, I feel that soon I’ll be able to pursue a bride. I must establish my business in Pip N Pens Literary Publishing & Writing Firm — building a platform but as a person I’m ready. When the time is right, I need a cooperative woman who will push me, and make this man feel God body as I make her feel like an Empress.

I could be out here like was, messing with lost women who enjoy having their kicks, but I haven’t gotten intimate with anyone for about a year now. Yes, it gets lonely but I know once I’m set up, all the extra self-discovering (gaining knowledge, patience, and understanding) shall be worth it. At least I know when I do meet her, I can approach knowing I have a clean bill of health, no baby mama drama, and only upsides plus bonuses.

Now my brothers, look at yourself and seriously ask: “Do I make the cut or not?”

I hope to see you at the top, as I focus on a million. Peace.

– Nicholas A. Brown, author and co-author  

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Why Teamwork always makes Big Dreams Work

The other day I expressed to my mother how I don’t trust many people, not even her or myself. Yeah, it sounds harsh and paranoid. But mistrust is healthy, now that I see every situation like a business deal. I’m not saying I take way all emotions, all the time. I just choose to keep one eye open, and let logic dictate the most fair course of action when dealing with others.

By seeing how much work is needed to make a profitable business, one must bring down their paranoia enough to form a team. You can keep your business small, but if you wish to expand, you’re going to need the right folks in place.

Ronin Warriors Ronin Warriors

KNOW YOUR ROLE

I remember being part of a crew who wanted to start a music production company. The energy was there, the enthusiasm was solid, the main thing that was missing were people knowing their positions.

Three of us acted like the top dogs, while everyone else did their own thing — on their own sweet ass time. Lack of direction, lack of planning, and not defining different roles killed any shot of us rising to the top. We had a studio, over a dozen people claiming to be down for the run, and each person could have contributed something. But we didn’t know what our roles were, so things got hectic to say the least.

When people in a company know their positions, and the tasks assigned to their roles, things runs smooth like a finely tuned grandfather clock. Each cog not wasting time, only pushing ahead as the day goes by — completing assignments as they come.

Now that I know this, I shall be wise enough to avoid such drama, properly lining up whose in charge of what, and defining the roles given — avoiding distractions.

Scared Me As A Kid Michael Myers

NO ONE MAN ARMIES

You can be the baddest person on the planet in a particular field, being in a league of your own. But if you try to do everything yourself, you’ll be overwhelmed. While your doing an assignment for a customer, you may have to pull yourself away in order to do errands like wash your clothes, or pick up your homie from the airport.

In the future, I plan on hiring people to do writing and copy assignments for clients, and just focus on the promotion and creating of original content I wish to push. I’m seeing first hand that finding time to promote, type, and edit is quite draining. And I know its going to get even crazier, once I start doing seminars and workshops, based on manuals I’m formulating with coauthors and experts.

I’m confident money shall come because I focus on delivering quality work, plus investors are always looking for that next big IPO.

When the time is right, I’m hiring:

–  Personal assistants

– Writers for ghosting projects

– Editors

– Copy writers

– 1 Book keeper

– 1 Receptionist

– 1 Secretary

– 8 people for the street and online promotions

– 8 people for the sales and marketing department

– Lawyer(s) & Accountant(s) on retainer

– An IT company & cleaning service on retainer

– Advisers with stock options in the company.

I’m sure there are other positions I missed but the key point: as gangster as I think I am with writing words on paper, in order to have a company based on writing, I need other people with skill sets outside of my own. I’m sure I’ll run into problems, but I need them — whom ever they be.

Always Seek Perfection 1972 Miami Dolphins, the NFL’s only undefeated team

WINNING FEELS GOOD

I hate to lose. Most people who are competitive in their fields can be sore losers. It hurts to put in your all, just to have it all come down. After each huge or small loss, learning enough lessons, in time I’ll be a huge success. But I know that in business, every Superman needs a Justice League.

Speaking of the Justice League, Batman is often the most paranoid of the bunch. This character has saved Gotham city, or the comic book world time and time again. During late 1939, months after the character debuted, his popularity began to wane (no puns intended). To gain younger fans, plus add depth to this character, they created Robin to assist Batman in 1940. There have been many versions of Robin but without him, Batman probably wouldn’t have lasted this long.

With the right partners and allies, you can do anything really. Make sure people are getting their fair share, and support them the best you can, even if they leave your company. For when you’re winning, you feel like the man (or the woman) when you enter a room.

Winning feels better than sex to me. It’s the biggest I told-you-so because when you’re winning, you don’t have to brag. All you and your team need to do is keep putting out quality work.

– Nicholas Brown, co-author of So You Want To Be A Stripper? The Comprehensive Guide To Go From Girl-Next-Door To Pole Dancing Diva 

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Change or Die — Its Your Choice Really

The other day on my Facebook timeline, a friend made a post. He angrily stated how he should never have tried breaking into the music business, and how he should have stuck to sports.

As a person who has looked into and failed at starting up entrepreneurial ventures, I feel exactly what he was saying. I’m mainly sticking to this current writing venture, because I have a degree in English, plus other proof showing I’m great at putting clarified thoughts on paper. Not to mention with little to no promo, I’ve made a few bread crumbs so I have more than just hopes.

Prior to learning and putting in work in the literary game, I was, like so many of us from the hood, trying to be a rapper. I wasn’t whack, my style was solid after a while, and my flow progressed with time. But I didn’t want to sign a bulls**t deals, I didn’t have a solid game plan, and the crews I was with were just as lost. I had to make a change, or keep chasing my tail like the rest of us around my way.

MAKE THE CHANGE

While seeking financial gain through music, I stayed in school part-time just in case. While in junior college, I took classes toward an AA in English and an AA in Philosophy. I also took a ton of courses in business, law, science, criminology, and even wine while at university. Not to mention the many books I’ve read for my own personal growth.

To-Do List Change Word Dry Erase Board Improve

When I saw that music had too many players going for that brass ring, I later decided to look into what a professor suggested I do. Her confidence in my writing skills was solidified, when classmates told me to try out for an event called Lips Service Miami.

I submitted a short story I called “Daddy’s Home”, they (Lip Service) later renamed‘Furious’, which I read at their event they recorded with intent on putting it on PBS South Florida. They didn’t get the money yet (at the time it was $50,000 for PBS SoFlo to edit it), so I don’t know if it’ll ever be seen, unless I do something about that later upon success. Nonetheless I decided to pursuit what I can do with my skills.

So far on this journey:

– I’ve learned how to format the inner parts of a book

– I found out what copy writing is, and how to break into that field

– I’ve taken sales and marketing courses

– I’ve learned how to write a better blog

– And I’ve learned how to edit my words, keeping at bay the grammar Nazi’s of the world

I must attain more information to implement, plus more money for certain projects to take off but I’m happy. In time, once all the stars align from all the hard work, I’ll be even happier because then I’ll be making a solid, if not amazing living from putting my thoughts (or others’ thoughts) on paper.

UNLIMIT YOURSELF

In the communities I’m from, too many brothers and sisters with melanin rich skin are looking into the same hustles. They are businesses that make money when done correctly, but there are too many doing them. How many barber shops can we build? How many nail salons are going to pop up? And how many car washes (mobile and otherwise) will be formed? Don’t get me wrong, I respect people making money honestly, but where’s our representatives in other fields?

butterfly life-cycle

To rap or sing, play ball (sports in general), or sell dope is the wicked stereotype many believe are the only routes out of being broke. It’s highly limited in scope, and is a destructive mantra to live by. The next manual, after the one I’m creating now for at-risk youths, shall be dedicated to showing how there are many ways to get rich (if not wealthy) when you’re willing to put in work, and us your imagination.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” – Albert Einstein”

Albert Einstein once said, “imagination is more important than knowledge.” We have an imagination problem where I’m from. To mentally see what others can’t, and then formulating these ideas into reality is a science those in the ghettos of America aren’t in touch with. You have some with great ideas, but they never act on them because of fear of failing.

They don’t know that many who I’ve researched came up with new ideas, and failed many times until they became successful. And once these people made their way, that’s when everyone else wanted to follow what that person has done.

Malcolm X said it best

CHANGE NOW & NOT TOMORROW

Many great people made changes in their lives or careers in order to progress. Some athletes chose one sport over another, some lawyers found their way into politics, and some tinkered on inventions that are now on store shelves. Last I checked, so-called Blacks are human beings. And within human beings, we have the capacity to think, ponder, and create.

We need to create more, think & formulate better, and stop with the same old same. We are in a cycle that needs retooling, because with what it is I’m doing, people think I’m wasting my time. But what they fail to realize, I’m just a little over a year into learning this field. There are more moves I must make, now that I’ve learned what I know now. But do know, thanks to my change into this field, I have a future to build; and hopefully writers to hire in need of work, so they too can move ahead toward changing the world.

Companies like Domino’s Pizza changed their secret sauce and menus. And like this pizza place, a change into what you’re doing, and how you think may be needed. Just don’t be afraid to make a change, and to remember that with change, comes new challenges so don’t run if and when things get tough.

– Nicholas Brown, co-author of So You Want To Be A Stripper? The Comprehensive Guide To Go From Girl-Next-Door To Pole Dancing Diva 

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How Money effects the Battle of the Sexes

As a millennial, I heard from my mother and other older women how way back (from the 1940s to the 70s), some men abandoned their families, or when they died the widows were clueless on what to do. Back then men were the main breadwinners, while women stayed home. Even if the women had a job, it was part-time because they had to get back home to take care of their youngin’.

With time and many protests, the women of these 2010s are now career driven and monetarily motivated. No longer are they dependent on having to marry up. All they got to do is get a degree or start a business. Men are still out here making moves, but our complimentary partners (women) are doing it big too.

SEAT AT THE TABLE 

This forward progress brings into play men asking should they continue being traditional on dates (i.e. a man paying the check at dinner), and if they should be chivalrous since some of these women claim to not want such treatment. These types of situations mentioned have occurred a lot lately. But with most sensible folks, one of the first things they seek in a potential partner is their ability to bring something to the table.

Couple counting money

In today’s world, a two income home is needed in order to raise a family. Granted, there are situations where a person is a single parent whose working, and exceptions to the rule where a woman married a rich and/or wealthy man. Nonetheless, outside of the so-called 1%, men and women work thus having 2 people bringing money, assets and other tangible funds into their union. No man doesn’t want to take care of a lazy ass woman, and I’m sure no woman is thrilled about taking care of a grown ass man.

This is a major reason why I’m choosing not to date seriously as of now. I’ve been finding my way through this literary, copy writing and consulting game for about 14 months now (SHAMELESS PLUG, CLICK HERE), and until I start making a certain amount consistently, I won’t begin getting to know anyone on a more long term basis. I want to have myself 100% right, for when I meet a woman who is 100%, we can put forth 200% effort when we get together.

CASUALTIES & COLLATERAL DAMAGE 

In any war there are losses. Though women are progressing, some feel if a man isn’t making more than they are, they can’t respect him. The guy could be making $60,000 a year, if she’s making $100,000 then he can’t even have a simple coffee or lunch date with her. There are some circumstances where money plays such a huge part, that it can server a whole marriage.

GoldDigger

This one episode of a news magazine show someone posted on YouTube I saw a while back, did a story about how a wife lost respect for her husband, after he was downsized from his job at an accounting firm in 2009.

The guy was pulling in close to 90 grand as an accountant at the firm, while she was making about the same in her career field. During the months after losing his job, he was doing freelance work, making about 20 – 25 thousand per year, while searching for another firm to work at. Not only was he still making some kind of effort to bring in funds, he also played Mr. Mom and took more care of their son.

Even though the man was doing what many women would kill to have a man do for them, because he wasn’t clocking dough in the near six-figure range, the wife fell out of love. She was distant, and claimed that she wasn’t sexually attracted to him anymore. She was acting so cold toward him, I felt the frost from her shoulder through the monitor.

The getting of money and still wanting for greater has really warped some women’s idea of the ideal man. That same guy in that report was a good father, college educated, and still was able to contribute something. But because he didn’t meet her standards, she cut him off. These kind of women act as if guys who are making $100,000 or better are just sprouting like leaves on trees — acting as if she couldn’t have his back when he was down. Then they wonder why they’re single in their late 30s, or divorced in their 40s, trying to figure out what did they do wrong? No man wants to be with, or come home to a woman like that!

Plus, even if a woman like this did find a guy who was a millionaire, who says he’d take care of her and treat her right like a guy making $30,000 per year would?

1 Woman Scream

THE HEAD WOMAN IN CHARGE

Another thing some of these paper chasing women need to do is know when to fall back. Many of today’s modern women can’t seem to understand that most men want to lead. There are some couples where the woman wears the proverbial pants of their union, and they’re both content with this dynamic. But for the most part, men are out to be the head of their union.

Modern women are use to being masters of their own universes. So when a stand-up guy comes along, a lot of them don’t know how not to be boss lady, especially when with a headstrong male. These ladies feel because they’re in control of their job environment, and give final word on major decisions in their life, when a good guy comes along asserting himself into the lead role, she’ll begin to fight back.

You also can’t forget those women who are workaholics — the kinds of women putting career first, child second (if he has one with her), and her man last. To many women, trying to juggle family, career, and intimacy is damn near impossible — something has to fall to the way side. So yeah, if she’s making mad money at her job, it may be worse than you think. That’s why with women I shall date, I won’t put heavy emphasis on how much money they make. Long as she’s doing something productive, and helps me with my grind then I’m a happy camper.

Miss Independent, if he’s a great guy whose bringing something to the table, and can be a candidate for father of the year then learn to fall back, and trust in your man. Learn that being cooperative and allowing a worthy man to step up, will be the best decision you could ever make for your relationship. But as I always stress ladies, only if he’s proven himself capable, and willing to accept your input as a partner.

african-american-couple-exchanging-gifts-5355580

COMPROMISE

Men and women must come together in this new millennium, making money in order to live close to, or actually achieving a middle class or upper middle class lifestyle. Yes, we have more acceptance of single parenthood (mainly for women), but still those in a relationship or who want a relationship must find a way to make things work.

Both men and women must be self-sufficient in today’s world, in order for them to build a life together. Make sure as a man, you don’t put too much emphasis on her bringing a lot of money to the table. And as a woman, do not consider money the most important factor when choosing a man.

The battle of the sexes is stupid to me, because men and women are here to compliment each other. As time goes by, I hope the world realizes this so we can grow on a global scale. Until then, let’s keep progressing by not letting money cloud our better judgement.

– Nicholas Brown, co-author of So You Want To Be A Stripper? The Comprehensive Guide To Go From Girl-Next-Door To Pole Dancing Diva 

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Treating Your Lady vs. Tricking On Whores

Gentleman, we have survived another boo season. For those who don’t know, boo season is when women link up with guys in late summer — early autumn so when Christmas (on up to Valentines day), they can get gifts from some p***y whipped fool. Some dudes don’t care and figure since they got money, its okay to trick off some dough to get action from a woman. Others like the guys I respect have a different set of values that put us in a more alpha class of men.

TO TRICK OR NOT TO TRICK

Guys, if you meet a woman in August or September, she knows you make money, and is giving you all kinds of extra attention, BEWARE! Keep your wits about you, and only kick out cash or gifts if she has reciprocated with more than just intimacy.

We’re in an era where women are making their own money and paying their own bills, so it makes perfect sense to expect some act right from them. If she is fair or more than fair on her part when it comes to paying for things, then she’s a woman you can move forward with. But if you’re giving your all especially with paying out money somehow, way more than she has toward you, and she’s digging for more then you’re being played.

Some guys game are toooooo much in their pockets. If you’re quick to pay a woman’s bills, or buying them a bunch of stuff after just recently meeting them, claiming to be a gentleman, then you’re a trick. Guys who do this are suckers, and the women are gold diggers, or broke and hungry whores without shame. How I (along with the guys I respect) operate, we take our time with a woman before spending a dime.

Man Buys Gifts

HOW REAL MEN & PLAYERS DO IT

First we vibe on the phone to see if she can hold down a solid conversation, and if we can have sex with her right away. Some guys, if they feel they can smash soon will go for it, hit it then quit it. Others who have been there and done those kinds of actions already, may want something meaningful and probably won’t hit it unless she’s cute and he’s very horny.

If a woman seems decent, we won’t take her to any high class places because the object of the first few dates are to get to know someone, not sponsor some broke broad’s meals. You can make it a low cost date that’s romantic like a picnic on the beach, or a trip to a botanical garden then tea and a small meal at a poetry spot. If she’s more down to earth, take her to play a few games of pool and a slice of pizza. If she’s seems nice then just make it a movie night at her spot, after bringing over groceries and cooking for her. Or if she’s a girl from a small town, then fire up your grill and grill corn or fish or bar-b-q something she may like. Bottom line you don’t have to break the bank just getting to know her.

Me, what I do on the first phone conversation is put females to the Waffle House test. I tell her that for our first date, I want to go to the Waffle House to vibe and chill and enjoy each others company. If she objects to this idea strongly then I know she isn’t worth my time. If she’s down then maybe we can build toward something after that first date.

IF YOU GOT HER, ITS NOT TRICKING

As I stated earlier, when it comes to the spending of cash and giving of gifts, if she’s returning the favor and at times more than you expected, then you’re not tricking. If she’s playing her role and using her femininity to honor you as her king, and you decide to treat her out to places she wants to go, and/or pamper her from time to time, then you’re just maintaining your woman, not being a trick. Its a give and take, and not a one side take all kind of situation.

I break much of this down in my book Dragonflies in the Swamp, so please believe when I tell you that being a trick, paying or buying your way into favor with a woman, doesn’t make you look like a pimp. S-I-M-P, a simp (simpleton) is what any real mack or player calls you marks.

Remember to watch out before the holidays arrive, and protect your pockets pimps cause these whores, sack chasers, and gold diggers are ready for another run on some dude’s or a few dudes’ pockets. Preach, chuurch, tabernacle! 

– Nicholas Brown, co-author of So You Want To Be A Stripper? The Comprehensive Guide To Go From Girl-Next-Door To Pole Dancing Diva 

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